Butterflies and Birthdays

My favorite birthday card (from my husband) says, “Life is precious…and so are you. Have a beautiful birthday.” He personalized it with, “I cherish every moment I have with you, My Wife, My Love, My Krissi. I Love You. – Your Ken“. The card itself was sweet, what he wrote was beautiful, but above all else the butterfly on the front of the card reminded me of Elaine and the empty seat she would’ve filled alongside my other friends at dinner tonight.

The card made me cry like a baby and in a way I hadn’t in a long time. Elaine loved butterflies and she loved life, and oh how I wish with all my heart that she would’ve been among the friends who shared my birthday with me today. Unintentionally, or by happy accident, I (randomly?) chose the same hibachi steakhouse/grill where we once celebrated one of her infamous birthday parties. More than once this evening I fell back to my memories of her – of how happy and full of life she was; how her laugh, her smile, and her ability to bring friends together was worth more than all the gold in the world.

Ken said he teared up in the store just buying this card, knowing it would remind me of her just as it did him. He always knows the right thing to say… even when the words are in the form of a butterfly card.

I felt humbled and loved with all of the birthday wishes and love I received on my 34th from my friends who are here. While nothing and no one can ever make up for the loss I feel for Elaine, simply knowing that life goes on, life is worth living, and in life I am not alone because I am with friends makes things a little easier.

Here’s to many more birthdays… and many more friends. I will always strive to be the friend to others that she was to so many – The world is not a better place without her, but the world is better to have known her.

© 2010 – 2012, Krissi Bates-Billings. (CC BY-NC-ND 3.0) Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported